My Weightloss Surgery Experience by:J.A. Burror

Sorry for the way I wrote this out but was trying to get everything down and still there's more left
I just wrote with thoughts not with making it written out well
so bare with the bad grammar I fear you will notice 

 I've been asked about my health a number of times to make me want to write it out like this  because explaining in a few lines doesn't put it really down of what happen and to be-to the point I feel I would have to start from this point
I am not a Doctor nor am I a Nutritionist so this is just what I have found and with it is my story of losing weight with this life changing surgery
good or bad I own my choice I made
did I make the right choice? or was I wrong in choosing this path that lead me here?
I don't know because I believe everything is meant to teach us
we forever learn in life  what we choose to take in to account might be the very building blocks that shape are further out come
and I'll share my experience with you

 I'm not blaming anyone other then me for being over weight as a child  I ate to much junk and didn't want to burn it off  that is all on me
 I got teased at school yes there were bullies but the scary part was we were about the same size
which I always wondered about because the ones that bullied me the most weren't a different size then I was  just had friends and the in crowd and that put us in different categorizes 
but it was only by a few brave individuals because I hung out with what some would call the trouble makers  but they were the nicest to me in my school days  they stuck up for me and no one would dare make a comment while they were around me
wasn't planned just happened that way that I'd become friends with groups of people that would stand up for me in so many ways when I was in school

I wore the big baggy clothes to cover up all in the hopes of hiding my size a bit but also I was a girl that was developing so I didn't want to be noticed even more in my own skin
 by the time I was in 7th Grade I moved and with that my friends I left be hide
found myself in a new place were it was totally weird to me  all the kids I first met were so nice coming up and asking questions wanting to go out and be friends
I learned from this that some can be surface friends  on the out side  in-front of there family's you're in but when you're alone with the group  you become the joke the outsider

 food became a comfort for me and I'm not blaming anyone just I didn't know how to deal within myself of my own feelings  what was happening I couldn't explain it to anyone alone myself
okay so this is how I ended up a overweight child/ teen/ adult
I wanted to lose weight

I starting wanting to diet  but that word scared me I didn't know why but the thought of having to give up  reminded me of other things I was told I would have to give up to get what I desired so for me that word was scary to obey   for me it was like

Tells you to stop wishing for better, stop dreaming one day it'll all be some great spot
All for that place in the sky, everlasting life. Like that magic pill everyone wishes were out there.
I've only found one, which even worked a little.
I have a hard time believing this pill so and so takes is going to work when they were never fat.
And fat to them is just 10-20 pounds; I mean please get over yourself. I understand if you're fat and then lose all the weight but that 10, those 20 pounds can haunt you. It plays with your mind, tricks your hunger. Makes you believe enough in the end.
Everyone has their idea of their perfect life and everything would be perfect in it.
Right, so why aren't we all born into that style of living, of being if we're never meant to work for what we got even a little.

I was 29 years old  and still my dreams never faded not even once   what I had wanted as a children still remained and grew deeper in the desire I had to reach out for it
yes I was old enough but not everyone that ages get to make a change as they wanted to at that time
I do believe dreams can change with time they can   I can't understand but it happened to mine

I was looking forward to my life starting. You see I put everything on my look, my weight.
Cannot do this, Cannot do that-all because I was overweight.
 I remember wanting nothing else to sing and tour the world. But I stopped myself from trying. Thinking no one would notice to take a chance on the fat girl. I was fat, my biggest was 278 pounds.

Wanting to change my life, that it did. I first learned about the Gastric-bypass surgery back in 1996 when I was 16 years old. No Doctor brought it up. I cannot remember where I heard about it, only I did. I knew it was a last resort weight loss surgery and not to go in it lightly. That people had died and can have severe problems with the surgery and after word. Therefore, I was if-y in my youth, but with years don't always come commonsense about your overall health. The decision with how to help yourself can be wrong, fault.

 A lot of people want that magic pill, the drug to solve all their problems
The quick fix, if you will to weight loss
wake up and be the person in your dreams Or to suddenly look the way you've always wanted to look
But often time's your ideal weight or size comes with problems, issues of losing your identity
giving with it a new goal  which happens to become finding ones self
If only that would make you happy, looking the way you wish
What if there really was a magic pill to disregard health or fitness in its self, would you try it?
To give up your life as you know it and try something new
Even if it meant going off the deep end. Losing yourself in the process. All for what.
That image we all put in are minds of what a healthily fit person is suppose to look like
And what would it say about the type of person you are if you would go for it?
To wake up and be that perfect size to look the way you dreamed of/ or thought you did
Even if it meant nearly dyeing because of it. Would it still be worth the trouble only for that look?

so I had a weight loss surgery
I picked the Gastric Bypass Surgery because:
  I eat more junk then I worked out   I won't lie about that
I worked out every week and as a over weight person
   you would find it hard to get that I really did workout but I did 6-7 days a week
   Gym and at home I walked to anywhere because I didn't drive so I was always on the move
I had dreams that a overweight person I couldn't find in that career as a newbie
   so I wanted to better myself

I made plans with work and went to the Doctors I was suppose to before
the plan was off 1 week then I could go back to work
   because the Gastric Bypass is Laparoscopy so it meant very little down time
   yes for a few weeks you would need to take it slower then normal but nothing big
long term weight loss is what I saw
life changing is what I wanted
LOL I know right     took me sometime to realize that I had to change my way of viewing food

I had a few different types of diets I went on from a young child to in my 20's
   working out
   pills
   mix of pills and working out
   changing my eating with different books on Dieting
even stopped eating all together for a time I hatted food in any form the word just left a nasty taste in my mouth whenever I would say it

I'm not trying to bash the surgery by any means this is just what happen to me
I have known others that never had anything like my experience

I had first heard of the Gastric Bypass Surgery when I was a teen and I thought it was cool
even as a kid I was overweight and didn't change like I said a little before I really did make bad choices for my health with eating

even so I never thought it was for me I just figured I would learn as I grew up to be better at being healthy  but I didn't I learned a lot yes but I didn't change to many things I did
I liked a lot of foods that were just bad for me and you add in the lack of motivation to get moving  it was a clear recipe for me for being overweight

as I grew I lied about my weight when asked  saying yeah I'm 200 pounds when it cam down to the real number I was to scared to look for myself
the first visit I had with the Doctor to talk about the surgery I was weighted and started to cry
I couldn't say I was 200 pound even close to that ship left dock and was half way around by that point
I was 275 pounds I remember thinking to myself
   How did I let myself get like this?
   Why would I do this to my body?

every Healthcare provider has different guild lines they must go by with Healthcare
this was no different  I needed to be 200 pounds
  wow I needed to be the weight I lied about being for years on my ID
so the forms were all sent off and I was waiting for the answer

mean while some of my family and friends I had told about the surgery weren't supportive
not because they didn't care but they worried about the outcome in the end
but headstrong as I am I still went for it  pushing all there doubts aside

I was happy going to the Doctors visits before
 I walked about 12 miles round trip to and from strait shot
 on those days because it was near shopping areas I brought back what I needed after shopping
 it was cheaper that way  I lived on my own and I watched what I spent
and it also added to the walking that I did  so I didn't mind

I worked out at that time in the Gym 3-5 hours then did water aerobics exercises and swam after the workout for about 1-2 hours
  it was nice and peaceful for me
I worked 40+ a week and never had the same week to week routine
I always was alone in the Gym and loved it I could watch a movie and get on the bike
I could listen to music and do weight lifting
but this is where I get bad I would be hungry after and felt I earned it  so I would eat the waffles/ or half of a left over pizza for a mid-night snack  didn't matter I just found when I got hungry I lose control
so all my hard work in the Gym before ended up being no good
I couldn't see a difference and neither could anyone else

I walked to and from to work from my house on a daily habit
my job worked in such away that I was someone to call when they needed a hand in the place
and I loved it   my bank account loved it
so being away for only a week it was good to me
being able to get back to that lifestyle   Yes with very clear changes I needed to make
but when I told my work they wanted me to take a full 6 weeks off
  to tell you the truth I thought What is this/ Are they trying to replace me
but not at all it was company policy for surgery under a health code they went by
I was so happy finding that out

I wasn't told to lose weight before surgery but I do know different Healthcare providers
losing weight before hand is mandatory-normally it's a % of what your body weight is currently from your first visit that they record it
that you have to lose before surgery date can be set
there are also classes to be taken
    this can vary from a few talks with a Nutritionist to 1 year of on going Nutrition Classes are given 

you also have to see a Physiologist
   this is to determine whether you are mentally ready for what's to come  the outcome can go in different directions and it's to help prepare you for the coping process
also like going to see a Nutritionist you also have to see a Physiologist for a length of time and you need both the Nutritionist/ Physiologist + your Doctor and sometimes even Surgeon all to agree

now I have blood test/ x-rays
my Surgeon (I will not share the Surgeons name)
I had 3 visits to see which only saw the Surgeon the first visit
I was so happy that my life was about to change for the better I only saw the great outcome of what I could do

next 2 visits was with a Nutritionist/ Physiologist (I will not share that persons name) that was both a Nutritionist/ Physiologist
I was asked Questions about
How my family likes the idea of me losing weight?
Do you want to where a Bikini when you lose the weight?
I wanted to wear shorts and not feel my legs rub or not have to always wear the long shorts in summer
   hey I grew up in hot weather so shorts  it's a big deal

I had took time off work and saved enough for rent tell I was to return to work
I had food, clothes, tons of stuff planed to do to keep busy
I was all set for my recovery
 But not everything turns out as you hope
I didn't even want to take the full 6 weeks, but now years later and still may not be enough thought that it was just after math from the surgery
 past history problems that haven't yet been corrected

 the date was set just like that
after everything it took me about 2 months from the time I first called my Healthcare provider asking for options for weight loss to the point of the surgery being scheduling

 I saved a bit so I paid rent for the next few months in advance 
I knew the eating diet after was liquid and then you move up to soft food
I took care of my mom when she had the surgery so I fixed all her meals and gave her medication
so I knew the drill about what to stay away from and what my body wouldn't be able to handle
unlike mine she went the full long term
    meaning Nutrition Classes for a year
    ongoing to a Physiologist
    losing weight before hand

I know the only time I was scared was about 1 hour before, when it started to be real.
I went in to the Hospital and saw my Surgeon only minutes before they wheeled me back and I had to ask
after I was tried and told the Surgeon came in only once even when I was having a Allergic Reaction to what I was given the Surgeon didn't come in to see

I remember the way I felt when I was told the surgery date, September 1,2009. Then I remember the Hospital and being in and out, tarring my clothes off because I was so hot and felt like ants
were biting me from the inside out, all over all  because the pain medication I was given.

Allergic Reaction was so bad I was trying to scratch my skin off
I had scratches all over face to toes by the time I saw the Surgeon I was throwing things and I tore off my clothes and wouldn't let anyone near me  I was naked trying to tare open my wounds and yelling at everyone that came in

my Brother came to see me  but heard me outside screaming and opened the door  he said I was crying and out of control and wasn't at all his sister
he went to the Nurses station and wouldn't leave tell he got help for me
once they came  I had to be held down to get the shot  they took me off the medication and changed it with giving me something to stop the reaction

 I left the hospital sore but glade I had the surgery because I saw it as just another step to getting to my goals
I was forced on the outcome 

I went to my Brothers house and slept that day away
for 3 days it seemed fine I was moving around on my own and eating Jello and drinking water
I couldn't handle the broth even the first week it was salty to me
and the drink mixes I was told I could have after  I found it all was to strong
   it's like 1 cup of XXX    I would take 1/4 tsp  my taste buds went wacky

by the 4-5 day I started getting pains that didn't go away in my stomach
day 6 I throw up Blood     this was a first ever for me
I called my parents to pick me up and they did then called my Surgeon and was told
   wait tell I see you in a few weeks then if the bleeding is still happening we'll do some test
so we waited because after all it's a Surgeon
 aren't they suppose to help there patients

 by the 2 week I couldn't stand on my own I needed help with someone on my right side and someone on my left side so they could catch me  I even had a walker
but that was only to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back to bed I didn't leave tell next day
throwing up everything
I mean everything  jello, broth, water, pills, liquid medication
it all came up with bright red blood along with it

now it was time to see the Surgeon for testing right   that's what I thought with my family but no
I was told I secretly wanted to die so I was trying to take the Surgeon down with me
asked me to get on the table and I fell because I had no strength
 kept asking why I had no strength and that was why I was there
I thought: How dare you ask what I want you to answer me

told my mom that I could have anything as long as I could keep it down
  (now that is wrong of the Surgeon to have acted this way)
just so you get the full picture at this time
  there was no TESTING of any done or ordered on me at this time by the Surgeon

I was told to come back in a month to the Surgeon for a routine check up after surgery and I was sent home in my wheelchair because I couldn't walk at that time
I parents told me to see another Doctor that was running test the first visit
  my heart rate was mind you I was in a wheelchair not at all working out
          sitting-180
          stand with a person on both sides to hold me-225
          laying down-160
this isn't walking at all mind you  it's going from a bed that my mom had to dress me, brush my hair and clean me up to have my parents put me in the wheelchair to go outside to the car and both had to help me in the car then out to go to the Doctors office

I got sent to the ER right away on my first visit to this Doctor and they gave me a IV with what they called a Cocktail Bag  the on call Doctor had a call in to the Surgeon which the Doctor was told that the Surgeon said you are seeing them in a few days so they told us not to admit you to the Hospitable

my mom called the Surgeon next day for the new appointment but was told the appointment was still for next month  no new appointment was needed by the Surgeon

this trouble sum yo-yo with my Healthcare that was being given was on going for months
the Doctor was always sending me to the ER and the ER was always calling the Surgeon and I was always being sent home
I started going to a Clinic that was 2-3 hours drive from my house for care on my Doctors recommendation
there I would get a IV of 2-3 bags each time I went  I was so dehydrated and weak and pain shots along with it
along with going to the ER at times still for care all the wile my Surgeon knew of this
my family didn't hide any of my health problems I was having and didn't hide my medical records from the Surgeon either
throwing up Blood my mom and me were told I was lying about so my mom took a sample for the Surgeon to see  right after the Surgeon said  I never not believed you but why would you make yourself do that just to show it to me
again the Surgeon made it seem as my fault for the Blood
nothing new happen with the Surgeon so my Brothers Mother-in-Law  who is a Lawyer got involved and wanted to go to the next visit I had with my Surgeon  my family was happy at this
this was the first time she had seen me from a week before I had surgery I had been in my Brothers Wedding so she saw me 

the appearance I had only a month ago was no longer there   I had dropped down nearly 65 pounds at that time   with no Exercise of any and also my strength left so all my muscles left   that's what it felt like
she couldn't believe it was me   she went into the Surgeons office were we waited for my visit   1 of the office workers saw I came in with not just my mom but another person and got the Surgeon
I was then told my mom was the only one allowed in the room with me
the Lawyer spoke up and announced that she was my God-Mother   even though it was going against my moms beliefs she agreed to it  then we were told that only one person other then me was allowed in the room
my mom stepped aside and let my newly pronounced God-Mother go with me
in the room she had a note pad she wrote everything down and the Surgeon couldn't help but take note
Testing was then and only then scheduled  so because of the tract record with this Surgeon I went to my other Doctor and she wanted to know the testing that was being done and she did the same testing

this is the part that truly irritates me to no end       1 Day apart this was done
Surgeon did Blood work-said everything's fine
            next day Blood work done  testing the same checks on the form
Doctor did Blood work-said I had
                              low levels of Potassium mine was around just over 2
  Mayo Clinic Staff
Low potassium (hypokalemia) refers to a lower than normal potassium level in your bloodstream. Potassium is a chemical (electrolyte) that is critical to the proper functioning of nerve and muscles cells, particularly heart muscle cells.
Normally, your blood potassium level is 3.6 to 5.2 millimoles per liter (mmol/L). A very low potassium level (less than 2.5 mmol/L) can be life-threatening and requires urgent medical attention.

 Vomiting I started a few times a day then escalated to on a good day 6-8 times a day
   my family tried so many things  my Brothers Mother-in-Law gave me Liquid Protein because I wasn't eating and my mom would mix it with Jello and give to me  some days I could swallow other times I couldn't and the smell of meat of any kind being cooked turned my stomach and would send me to throwing up just from the smell   even food made and brought over for them so they wouldn't have to cook with the smell in the house   I was to sensitive to smells of food at that time   but with time I still have a problem with food turning bad I can smell the difference and it's sicking to me now

                              low levels of Iron  2-3
a normal iron level is important because too much or too little can lead to serious health problems
I have found different Doctors  different Surgeons all go by different charts

my Surgeon said my Iron Levels was completely normal and nothing to worry about
my other Doctor however strongly disagreed 
  The medical text "Wintrobe's Clinical Hematology" states that a normal level is approximately 70 to 200 micrograms per deciliter, noted as mcg/dL. However, the normal range for serum iron often differs from one laboratory to another and may vary according to your age and sex.

going off my age at that time and the fact of me being a Female
Mayo Clinic Staff
To diagnose iron deficiency anemia, your doctor may run tests to look for:

• Red blood cell size and color. With iron deficiency anemia, red blood cells are smaller and paler in color than normal.
• Hematocrit. This is the percentage of your blood volume made up by red blood cells. Normal levels are generally between 34.9 and 44.5 percent for adult women and 38.8 to 50 percent for adult men. These values may change depending on your age.
• Hemoglobin. Lower than normal hemoglobin levels indicate anemia. The normal hemoglobin range is generally defined as 13.5 to 17.5 grams (g) of hemoglobin per deciliter (dL) of blood for men and 12.0 to 15.5 g/dL for women. The normal ranges for children vary depending on the child's age and sex.
• Ferritin. This protein helps store iron in your body, and a low level of ferritin usually indicates a low
• level of stored iron. 

 2016 by American Association for Clinical Chemistry
As iron storage depletion progresses and anemia begins to develop, some of the following signs and symptoms may appear:

• Chronic fatigue/tiredness
• Dizziness
• Weakness
• Headaches
• Pallor

If the iron-deficiency anemia is severe, shortness of breath, dizziness, chest pain, headaches, and leg pains may occur. Children may develop learning (cognitive) disabilities if the deficiency persists. Besides the general symptoms of anemia, there are certain symptoms that are characteristic of iron deficiency. These include pica (cravings for specific substances, such as licorice, chalk, dirt, or clay), a burning sensation in the tongue or a smooth tongue, sores at the corners of the mouth, and spoon-shaped fingernails and toenails.
A serum iron and other iron tests may be ordered when iron overload (hemochromatosis) is suspected. Symptoms of high iron levels will vary from person to person and tend to worsen over time. They are associated with iron accumulation and can be similar to those seen with other conditions. Symptoms may include:

• Joint pain
• Fatigue, weakness
• Lack of energy
• Abdominal pain
• Loss of sex drive
• Heart problems

later it was thought it was due to blood loss from vomiting wasn't to me having a menstrual cycle because I stopped for about 7 months

                              most of my Vitamins I had some form of deficiency all were very low levels
I also had a pain that as time went by it only grew in my stomach 
I never had heartburn but a hand full of times in my life before and now I was on a on going medication for heartburn                   

    {Surgeon found a Hiatal Hernia-I was told this only by going to the Hospital because I needed paper work for my healthcare/////// Surgeon also did a Liver Biopsy-found a fatty Liver and all this I was told a year after surgery took place, once I no longer had the Surgeon I was told this information}
                               
this back in forth went on for a full year  I would explain what I was going through
Surgeon visits/ Doctor visits 
    my Doctor kept a watchful eye on my Blood work and my Heart
 also was always trying to have me put into the Hospital for on going watch because I couldn't even stand or sit up right without throwing up  and which every time I threw up it lead to throwing up blood as well

my Healthcare the way it worked is I couldn't be treated by another Surgery in the Hospitable which lead to my health falling even more 

Hospital's wouldn't take me in for more then a few hours at a time because they needed my Surgeon to give the go ahead   the Surgeon giving any sort of go ahead would mean something was wrong 

unknown what but something was wrong and the Surgeon could later be brought into be questioned

Still Unhealthily and Feeling Not-Me Nothing's happening right now, had another fainting spell again. But should be, or get use to it by now-right. It's hard acting as if your perfectly healthily & nothing's wrong, when truth bite's you in the ass all the time. I don't know, just seems like a year is so long too not get better, after whats a "route" surgery/// LOL.. Tells you to stop wishing for better, stop dreaming one day it'll all be some how different. Even less of a pain in your ass to live day to day. Trying to get health care, this week again. I lost my health care thru Blue Cross because I lost my job. Do to the fact someone at a Doctor's office didn't give me the paper work on time. I also lost my apartment because of the same lovely office worker and they lol said to my face "o I sent the paper work to the wrong office, o well but you can live with family". The paper work wouldn't have helped me at all do to the fact the Surgeon put that I was only unable to work for 1 day. What a nice office there, the kind that will only stab you in the back in front of you. So I moved in-right, to my parents. Then she call's me up wanting to make an appointment with Dr. Death/ sorry the Surgeon.

that was the nickname my family came up for the Surgeon-was Dr. Death
I said it once and they picked it up  that and the times of getting no where with my healthcare by the Surgeon
I mean really, why would I ever want to go back if I didn't have to. Office worker "o sorry" as she was laughing saying as I explained what was happening and had happened
saying sorry without knowing the meaning  that's what I came to think of the Surgeons office
That doesn't really mean your sorry, just that your a XXXX, I was told to let my family pay for my care.

Almost as if she knew I was having a hard time find care that would take me. Because of all the health problem's due from the surgery and I was stupid enough to have it the way I did. I mean it's a great surgery no question, but you need to be more outspoken then I was.

Finding Healthcare once you have problems due from surgery can be a real quest
it took me years  I'd get it then dropped off because of the problems I had
   some Healthcare Providers will cover you  if you are healthy   but make it hard when you're not
 I kept having to go through the state and there rules are up and down
   I fell threw the cracks because of a new law that was put in place that I couldn't get Government healthcare   but once I went for the healthcare which was by law you had to have
I did get it because I couldn't afford it  I thought hear we go again
but because I didn't get that healthcare I got no questions asked the Government Healthcare that denied me
I know you only think about the grim outcome once you have no other choice but to see what's there but Please do your Homework if you will about this Surgery and with any Surgery you may need or want

Ask the question's, any and everyone you can think of and look up.
And please watch out for after when the doctor's office may act like they don't care, because that's when you need to find another Doctor that will help you. If your reading this, don't make my mistake an having the surgery without finding out more about it. About the Surgeon/ Doctor's Office/ and any care they may give. Look on the net to find the history of everything with your Surgeon's office and Doctor's office that you'll be seeing after. You might change your mind and find a better Surgeon, that will take the time with you. Don't rush in to anything, I had the surgery less then a month after they called me. Which I had only saw the Surgeon I believe only two time's. I miss the old me that didn't know better, trusted people, hell even had faith in people.

I felt I needed my parents there with me. I went down heel fast and the more I asked for help from the Surgeon the more I got stupid answer's. And unreal questions from a Surgeon no less.
it's normal to throw up blood,
your mom's catering around you,
you don't want to get better,
why are you in a wheelchair,
why can't you walk,
you're not drinking enough
why do you thank you're sick,
are you acting,
what happen to your eye sight,
Here I was in a wheelchair with a sleeping mask on, because I couldn't see. Having motion sickness from the time when my Mom bathed me and dressed me. I threw-up before I even got out of bed and right after I got in the car, again on the drive to the Surgeon. And here I was with this perfectly healthy looking Surgeon telling me all this bull shit. Its disrespectful to say you know how I feel. When if you hadn't had the life I have. I mean why would anyone be that stupid not to see that I was ill, something was very wrong. It took a good 5 to 10 minutes just to get out of the car. To stand and turn to sit made my head spin round. We checked in with a miss office worker I was weighted and that's about it, told my blood work was normal
Doctor did blood work and found I had no Vitamins meaning most all Vitamins Levels were very low and I was sent back to the Hospital by ambulance again

Surgeon was telling I was doing everything wrong and my Mother was only helping me to die, keep in mind this same Surgeon I had only ever seen a grand total of 6 times and somehow I feel that's to many times. I was always given the dietitian that was also a sic-colleges for her office, telling me what I did wrong and question's that she would answer them in her folder.The next 3 months were hell for me. During this time I was Bedridden I did pray for help threw it all. I prayed to understand, to have answers why my health was failing at an untimely manner. Mostly for the pain to stop, I prayed to die daily. I wanted to leave my body and didn't care to return. The pain would start each time I woke up. My heart was out of control beating at over 160 per minute wasn't good. Looking back, I wonder why I didn't have a hardtack. Funny I had no health problems before, high blood presser do from stress at work. But before the surgery I really did love life and celebrating was something

I did from time to time with good friends. After everything that I went through, how can anyone aspect me to be the same person I was before. I changed so much in that time frame. I had to, I couldn't stay the same because the old me would of given up the fight. I lost friends, family, my job, living on my own. I missed my independence, the freedom of coming and going. No rules, no bedtimes, just pure peace and quite.I was only getting worse and truth, I almost gave up. Living wasn't worth the fight. I had no idea of the pain in store for me, because I got cut open. I had a fight inside, unknowing what it was or even if I was to get better. I had to have my family wait on my every need, because I had no way of doing anything alone. I made my family a slave to my health, and added year's with stress to everyone.

When I needed to go to the Surgeon, Doctor's and Hospitals, Clinics it was a family affair. Going and getting special foods to see if maybe that day I could hold something down. What I could eat or drink at all. Feeding me, clothing me, bathing me, paying my bills, walking a side with me, pulling me up from a fall, helping me in a wheelchair and out. They did what no one should have to get to do for another. They were all slowly watching me die. My body was giving up and I wanted to just let go. I would get out of bed to walk 6 baby steps with a walker to the bathroom. Then try to go, and walk back to bed. Most times I'd need help just to lift myself and to stay up right before I crashed in bed. When I would get to the bed I couldn't move my arm's even, it took all my strength just to go to the bathroom. And I was spent for the whole day, it wasn't living. But each time I told the Surgeon 

I was always told it was all in my head and nothing was wrong because they didn't do anything wrong
but the Surgeon didn't run any test untell the Lawyer came not before
I had the same blood work done by another Doctor with the Surgeon and the test weren't the same
I had heart testing that my Doctor wanted me in the Hospital for over night stay
   but when you go to the Hospital they ask if you have had any surgery's and what your Surgeons name was   you tell them and they have to call the Surgeon (especially if it's at the same Hospital they work at)
the Surgeon makes the call and you get sent home or stay
because with no test was always telling me everything was fine and it was all in my head.

I always thought of myself as pretty, beautiful even hot at times. Not a raven beauty, nonetheless pretty
I have a kind heart and love to help when I can. I loved my over all look of my face, my curves and my ass.
I didn't want to become someone that would determine there self worth by how they looked or their shape
I always jokingly said: if I ever lost my breast, and butt, I'd I'd get in- planets. I proudly showed off my curves with clothes that fit to my body and shape good. My face is what I cried the most over after the surgery. Parts of my family and friends didn't understand when I said: I lost me. What I meant was I didn't look the way I did before and it's only because I didn't expect to lose so much weight so fast to alter my over all appearance. I was wrong about that and some. That saying-is true "be careful what you wish for".
Cause it just might come true in a different way.It's hard when you feel you lost apart of you.
The part that makes you-you. The difference in my looks to me was life altering. I didn't look like me, I wasn't me. When I looked in the mirror all I thought was, that's not me. My curves were gone;
I had no bust to speak of. Hey when your first bra is a 40 D and you go from 40 F down to a 36-38 B-C. You have no breast; I was flat in my mind and still am. My hips were almost not even there
and I had so much lose skin depressing. I still have a hard time looking in the mirror I cannot help but see the me that's gone. when I'm told how good, pretty or beautiful I look now. It's not without the inner voice in my head saying: you're nothing to look at, you're stupid for losing the weight.It's like you just want to tell them "really-do you not see me" its like nobody gets it,
your ashamed
it's embarrassing to have anyone look at you. I use to wear make-up all the time, it was a girly than that I loved to do. I would do my hair in different color and styles; overall, I had fun with my looks. The first year after the surgery, I've put make-up on 5 times', which even might be too much to say. I just stopped carrying about myself even the little thanes. By not wearing all the clothes, I liked, not having make-up on, not dyeing my hair. I was very plain and thought no one could see me. That I would just blended in to the wall. Yes, I do know my thinking was flawed. I guess that's what comes with losing 80 pounds in a little under 2 months. Maybe I always will have issues with the way I look from the outside.I said for a long time after, if I could I'd never of had the surgery. But truth wise, what I've learned I never could if I hadn't went threw all I did.

Almost dying has really changed me. My out look of life has took a full 180% around
I enjoy the home life so much, and I never was the type to stay at home
Want to be housewife, Mother of a football team. But now I want that more then ever.
To spend as much time being with my family and the one's I love
I want to watch my kids grow up and can't wait to be a Grand Mother someday
I'm in no rush in being one just yet, still looking for a man to look past my bad and see what's left is good
If it's in the cards for me, but to often I feel it's really somebody's else life
I'm longing to live with all there memory's


Gastric bypass can and does work wonders for millions of people  it's the answer they wanted
what the surgery does is shrieks the size of your stomach
    this limits the intake of food thus cutting your calorie intake as well
this weight loss surgery is one of the most successful surgeries
  for weight loss it really does and I've known others with the same view
    it tricks your brain in some ways
    you like how you feel
    you want to keep improving
    you become better about picking out the right choices

remember this is a lifestyle in order to change your life for the better and for many it's a life saving surgery
Please find out all the information on the potential risks and benefits
not wanting to scare you but Please be self aware   this is your body-your life
There are many online resources to look into if this is what you are considering

Don't think you don't have to change: 
Food: you have to change the way you eat  no questions about it
          you need to maintain that way of thinking that this is just How I Eat
       Meals following surgery must be limited to approximately one ounce each time you eat
          don't try to trick yourself in thinking after a year it's okay to eat whatever
          because that whatever will end up on your hips or make you sick
          might even lead to you picking up old habits that caused you first thinking about surgery
          because the stomach has the ability to stretch to accommodate food, you can consume larger portions
          meaning you have to watch your serving side

Exercise:the first year is the most you will lose the fastest and it's the beginning of your new habits you need
             you MUST EXERCISE no doubt
             by losing so much weight in such a small time frame
             and the larger you are the more you will lose in that time frame
             by this your skin will become loosened and you will need Exercise to help diminish that amount

Mind Set: your Support you will need because your body is changing yes but so is your thoughts
                the way you see you is also changing
                good or bad you will need to turn to others to help with your thoughts about how you are feeling
   
Drinking Fluids:you can't drink in eat together about 30 minutes before your meal and 30 minutes after
                       I have found different Doctors have different rules they ably by for the rules of the diet
                       60 ounces daily but this you will find to be a hard task at start

Vitamins:the part of the intestine where many minerals and vitamins are most easily absorbed is bypassed
              B-12=comes from animal protein sources such as meat, dairy  the surgery impairs vitamin B-12
                     absorption from food and from some types of supplements, so patients must take vitamin B-12
                     nasally, under the tongue or by injection for the rest of their lives
              D=assists the body in absorbing calcium and distributing it to your bones; it also supports the
                     immune system and plays a role in growth and development. Vitamin D comes from food and
                     is also manufactured by the body after skin exposure to the sun. If you suffer from vitamin D
                     deficiency, your bones may become weak and break easily. Bariatric surgeons generally
                     instruct patients to take a calcium citrate compound with vitamin D, 2 to 3 times a day for the
                     rest of their lives.
             Multivitamins=Because gastric bypass surgery affects absorption of food and reduces intake,
                    patients may develop deficiencies of folate, thiamin and some minerals unless they take
                    multivitamins for the rest of their lives

Dumping Syndrome= food moves to quickly from your small intestine  causing nausea/ weakness/ sweating/                   fainting/ diarrhea after eating  also becoming extremely weak after eating sweets
                 so sugary foods is at a low or sometimes you have to given then up all together

Gallstones=losing weight to fast   it happens so be watchful of it

Food Intolerance=once you have the surgery you might find you have gotten different taste buds working for                   you  when it comes to the foods you use to enjoy  might make you ill now
                 foods you disliked prior to surgery might be the staple of your new found dietary habits
                 when this happens my best advice is learn to

after the first year is up going towards the second year
 you might want to try new foods  to see what you can and can't handle this is all well enough to say
but the action might be a bit different then you recall
Remember your taste buds have had a long time getting use to another way of eating  you could just find that piece of cheese cake or a few potato chips leave a after taste that doesn't sit well with your stomach


If you want me to share more of my health story please share and I will

If you take anything from this PLEASE do your Homework on whatever Surgery/ Surgeon, Doctor/ Medication, Hospital/ vs/ Hospital, also find out about your job/ Healthcare, and always find out about if there is or will be a support system after
 I found my "Friends" were the best when I wasn't ill
everything needs to be taken into account before you run before looking to where you are headed