This subject is a touchy one. Child Abuse comes in many forms/ Abuse comes in many forms. Not only can it be physical but emotional abuse as well. Under some of these descriptions anyone at some point could become an Abuser and a victim of Abuse themselves. That's why it is best to know the guidelines around this behavior. When to realize when help is needed to give. Yes Ones have to stand on there own, I understand that. But this is my point of view. Just because someone you think is so strong and nothing could tare them down. Doesn't mean that is really true. We all have are moments where it seems as-tho everything is getting to use, bugging us. We all can reach that point where, we have had enough. It's hard for a Abused victim to step forward in total. But for Men it seems to be harder to say it outright., Why? Because Men are thought to be above women in some many ways, yet pushed aside in other ways. That being said Women are pushed aside do to the rights they might not fully have equal to that of a Mans statics. Abuse/ Abusing, those words aren't equal. They both come with so many meanings under each one.

I found this information to first inform myself, but as I kept hearing about this I wanted to find out more. I wanted to speak outright because not everyone shares my belief. Abuse is bad, but calling someone a Abuser when in fact they are the Abuser themselves. Is yet another Abusive mind control game to push anthers independence down.

Types of Abuse

[Sometimes it isn't enough just to be concerned. I hope this can have you spot the warning signs of a possible problem, and make a call for help for the abused. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause a warning sign. It can be settle at first, so much so that you don't recognize yourself that you are being Abused. Often times the first time someone is Abused by someone they know they don't recognize it to be Abuse.]

Physical Abuse

http://www.loveisrespect.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/lir20-logo-1.png

[ Now in the past I have tried to convey my thoughts on Abuse, Abusive Relationships. And a number of ones haven't gotten it to be clear. They choose to believe the Abuser is the Abused, the Abused is the Abuser. There logic I can not except as the truth. By that this is there opinion and everyone has a right to think of how they wish. Wrong or right they have that right. I can't look aside to pass over a wrong doing that's right in front of me. I saw a Man being a victim of Abuse in different ways, and so I spoke up. It did however take me some time to muster up the nerve to speak my mind. Normally I try not to get involved in other ones affairs, but I did as I could no longer hold it together. The anger that I felt, that I feel over the ones that only wish to cut another down. With no proof, no reason other then what they can get. That like to hate purely because they are just hateful ones. I chose to use Legal terms, Definitions on the matters they were using. This was my way of dealing with them but it fell off deaf ears (so to speak/ I mean no disrespect when using that word). They couldn't understand even when I clearly copy and pasted the Definitions to make it clearer I didn't use my own words for a time. But we all can get provoked and I admit I was one that fell for it. I ended up only hurt more by the thought that there were such hatred in this world. I'm not dumb I know there are evils that are far more then anyone's stupidity. All in hopes that something might sink in. Of the truth hidden behind countless lies, seems as mountains of lies. All used to confuse the issue at hands. All in a desperate move to try to shift the public away from the truth of who was the real Abuser.]

Physical abuse is defined as the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain, or impairment. Physical abuse may include but is not limited to such acts of violence as striking (with or without an object), hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, kicking, pinching, and burning. In addition, inappropriate use of drugs and physical restraints, force-feeding, and physical punishment of any kind also are examples of physical abuse.

Examples of physical abuse are:

Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
Pulling your hair.
Pushing or pulling you.
Grabbing your clothing.
Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.
Smacking your bottom.
Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.

Escaping Physical Abuse

Start by learning that you are not alone. More than one in 10 high school students have already experienced some form of physical aggression from a dating partner, and many of these teens did not know what to do when it happened. If you are in a similar situation:

Realize this behavior is wrong.
Talk to an adult, friend or family member that you trust.
Create a safety plan.
Consider getting a restraining order.
Do not accept or make excuses for your partner’s abusive behavior.
Remember that physical abuse is never your fault.

Protecting Yourself from Physical Abuse

Unhealthy or abusive relationships usually get worse. It is important to know the warning signs to prevent more serious harm. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, consider making a safety plan. Chat with a peer advocate for more information.

[There's a on going case going on that this word Abuse is all about. Comes to mind of this person that seems so strong yet is still a tender foot. In a lot of ways the fault of this person is they trusted the wrong person to intern there life in total. But you can't say it is or not because nobody will ever know more then the ones involved. Right?, No not exact because there are points where the victim has no memory of the Abuse. This is when other things come into the picture. Also not ever Abused victim wishes to draw action to themselves and state that this is what they were being forced to go through. That being said it is understandable to me that we hear more about the Abuse of a Woman/ Child/ Elder then we ever do of Abuse of a Man.]

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
There are many behaviors that qualify as emotional or verbal abuse:

Calling you names and putting you down.
Yelling and screaming at you.
Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
Telling you what to do and wear.
Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
Stalking you.
Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status.
Starting rumors about you.
Threatening to have your children taken away.

Is Emotional Abuse Really Abuse?

A relationship can be unhealthy or abusive even without physical violence. Verbal abuse may not cause physical damage, but it does cause emotional pain and scarring. It can also lead to physical violence if the relationship continues on the unhealthy path its on. Learn more about how to recognize emotional abuse by checking out our Power and Control Wheel.
Sometimes verbal abuse is so bad that you actually start believing what your partner says. You begin to think you’re stupid, ugly or fat. You agree that nobody else would ever want to be in a relationship with you. Constantly being criticized and told you aren’t good enough causes you to lose confidence and lowers your self esteem. As a result, you may start to blame yourself for your partner’s abusive behavior.
Remember — emotional abuse is never your fault. In fact, your partner may just be trying to control or manipulate you into staying in the relationship. Talk to someone you trust, like a parent, friend or teacher, about the situation and make a safety plan. You can also chat with a peer advocate for more help when dealing with verbal abuse.

[Also Sexual Abuse could also fall under the area where. You are being forced to stay with a person, be with them sexually. All the while it is unwanted and you are becoming a victim of Sexual Abuse.]

Sexual abuse refers to any action that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually they don’t want to do. It can also refer to behavior that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including oral sex, rape or restricting access to birth control and condoms.
It is important to know that just because the victim “didn’t say no,” doesn’t mean that they meant “yes.” When someone does not resist an unwanted sexual advance, it doesn’t mean that they consented. Sometimes physically resisting can put a victim at a bigger risk for further physical or sexual abuse.
Some think that if the victim didn’t resist, that it doesn’t count as abuse. That’s not true. It’s still is. This myth is hurtful because it makes it more difficult for the victim to speak out and more likely that they will blame themselves. Whether they were intoxicated or felt pressured, intimidated or obligated to act a certain way, it’s never the victim’s fault.
Some examples of sexual assault and abuse are:

Unwanted kissing or touching.
Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
Rape or attempted rape.
Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control.
Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes” or “no.”
Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
Using sexual insults toward someone.

Keep in Mind

Everyone has the right to decide what they do or don’t want to do sexually. Not all sexual assaults are violent “attacks.”
Most victims of sexual assault know the assailant.
Both men and women can be victims of sexual abuse.
Both men and women can be perpetrators of sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse can occur in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.
Sexual abuse can occur between two people who have been sexual with each other before, including people who are married or dating.
Sexual activity in a relationship should be fun! Get our tips for navigating sex and healthy relationships.

What to Do

If you have been sexually assaulted, first get to a safe place away from the attacker. You may be scared, angry and confused, but remember the abuse was in no way your fault. You have options. You can:

Contact Someone You Trust. Many people feel fear, guilt, anger, shame and/or shock after they have been sexually assaulted. Having someone there to support you as you deal with these emotions can make a big difference. It may be helpful to speak with a counselor, someone at a sexual assault hotline or a support group. Get more tips for building a support system.
Report What Happened to the Police. If you do decide to report what happened, you will have a stronger case if you do not alter or destroy any evidence. This means don’t shower, wash your hair or body, comb your hair or change your clothes, even if that is hard to do. If you are nervous about going to the police station, it may help to bring a friend with you. There may also be sexual assault advocates in your area who can assist you and answer your questions.
Go to an Emergency Room or Health Clinic. It is very important for you to seek health care as soon as you can after being assaulted. You will be treated for any injuries and offered medications to help prevent pregnancy and STIs.

Remember there is always help. For more information or to find out about available resources in your area, chat with a peer advocate.

[Now Financial Abuse can and does happen to the wealthy, or for that matter ones that have more then another. But is noway limited to only those groups. The Abuser used different ways to control the Abused. All in hopes of what they can gain out of the ordeal. Even going so far as using a child for Financial Abuse. This I mean by looking to a child only as a Financial way out of your situation.]

Financial abuse can be very subtle — telling you what you can and cannot buy or requiring you to share control of your bank accounts. At no point does someone you are dating have the right to use money or how you spend it to control you.
Here are some examples of financially abusive behavior:

Giving you an allowance and closely watching what you buy.
Placing your paycheck in their account and denying you access to it.
Keeping you from seeing shared bank accounts or records.
Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours you do.
Preventing you from going to work by taking your car or keys.
Getting you fired by harassing you, your employer or coworkers on the job.
Hiding or stealing your student financial aid check or outside financial support.
Using your social security number to obtain credit without your permission.
Using your child’s social security number to claim an income tax refund without your permission.
Maxing out your credit cards without your permission.
Refusing to give you money, food, rent, medicine or clothing.
Using funds from your children’s tuition or a joint savings account without your knowledge.
Spending money on themselves but not allowing you to do the same.
Giving you presents and/or paying for things like dinner and expecting you to somehow return the favor.
Using their money to hold power over you because they know you are not in the same financial situation as they are.

I’m Experiencing Financial Abuse

If your partner does any of these things, you are probably in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Financial abuse is usually coupled with emotional or physical abuse.
If you are not in control over your finances, or if your partner has removed money from your bank account, it can seem very scary to leave an abusive relationship. There are many organizations who can help you “get back on your feet” and get control over your finances — some even provide short-term loans to cover important expenses as you escape an abusive relationship. Chat with a peer advocate to learn more about local resources.
You may also want to talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member or legal professional, about getting a protection order. Whether you decide to leave or stay, consider making a safety plan that includes setting aside funds in a secret location.

[It's sad to think one would have to move to get away from a Abusive Relationship/ Situation. But reality is this happens most of the time. Why stay in a place where the Abuser knows how to get to you? Why remain close with them if they only Abuse you? Questions I myself wish I knew the right answers to say, but don't. I'm sure I'm not alone in seeing such things in ones life. That could be called Abusive Behavior.]

Stalking

You are being stalked when a person repeatedly watches, follows or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe. A stalker can be someone you know, a past boyfriend or girlfriend or a stranger. While the actual legal definition varies from one state to another, [also what Country you are in] here are some examples of what stalkers may do:

Show up at your home or place of work unannounced or uninvited.
Send you unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails.
Leave unwanted items, gifts or flowers.
Constantly call you and hang up.
Use social networking sites and technology to track you.
Spread rumors about you via the internet or word of mouth.
Make unwanted phone calls to you.
Call your employer or professor.
Wait at places you hang out.
Use other people as resources to investigate your life. For example, looking at your facebook page through someone else’s page or befriending your friends in order to get more information about you.
Damage your home, car or other property.

What if I’m Being Stalked?

If you’re being stalked, you may be feeling stressed, vulnerable or anxious. You may also have trouble sleeping or concentrating at work or school. Remember, you are not alone. Every year in the United States, 3.4 million people are stalked and youth between the ages of 18-24 experience the highest rates. Most people assume that stalkers are strangers, but actually three in four victims are harassed by someone they know.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 and report everything that’s happened to the police. Get additional support by obtaining a protection order that makes it illegal for the stalker to come near. Know that the person harassing you may also get arrested and convicted in the criminal justice system.
Remember to save important evidence such as:

Text messages
Voicemails
Videos
Letters, photos and cards
Unwanted items or gifts
Social media friend requests
Emails

You should also write down the times, places and dates all incidents occurred. Include the names and contact information of people who witnessed what happened.
Stalking is traumatic. You may experience nightmares, lose sleep, get depressed or feel like you’re no longer in control of your life. These reactions are normal. It can help to tell your friends and family about the stalking and develop a safety plan. You can also chat with a peer advocate for support.

[Like I said before this is a touchy issue, Why? Because stalking the meaning can change given your profession you're in. I mean if you are famous, Doesn't your fans have the right to see you? Ask for your name sketched in their book, or a picture here and there? I don't know the right answer on that, because I have only ever asked for one autograph That was because I felt bad, to a group that no one was really wanting to speak to after the song. I am not the type to chase after people no matter who they are. So that being said my view points on somethings might be different from that of yours.]

The term “child abuse” carries many types of abuse; the predominant types of abuse are: physical, emotional, sexual, psychological and the neglectful mistreatment of a child. The Laws are different in whichever country you live in.Or Human Rights

“Child abuse is no longer a family matter but obviously a social crime,” President Park Geun-hye said in April.

Under the new law, a convicted child abuser can be given a prison term from 5 years to life behind bars without parole. The previous minimum was a 3-year jail term. Those who work in child care facilities or schools can be fined up to 5 million won, or $4,700, up from the previous maximum of 3 million won, if they fail to report a suspected abuse case.
The new law also adds a requirement that police and child protection agency staff immediately intervene when a child abuse case is reported and gives them the authority to separate a child from parents suspected of abuse.
On top of tougher legislation, critics argue that more resources are needed to deal with an increasing problem and maximize the effectiveness of the new law.
The overall budget for child protection for next year from the state and local governments is 30.9 billion won, or $29.3 million, up from 17.5 billion won in 2014.
But lawmaker Namyun In-soon has noted that the state budget—about half of the total–is only around a third of the amount requested by the ministry. Last Friday, 12 private organizations for children’s rights also called on the government for more spending, including for centers for abused children.
“The budget for infrastructure to protect abused children is next to nothing, which overshadows the good intention of the law” the groups said in a joint statement. The government plans to add 6 more child protection centers staffed with specialists.
South Korea currently has 50 child protection centers. Ms. Namyun noted that more than 180 cities and towns don’t have such centers. The ministry declined to comment on Ms. Namyun’s remarks.
Follow Jaeyeon Woo on Twitter @JaeyeonWoo

[This all being said it's hard on the heart, but Abuse is very real and we need to step up about what we see.]

Unrelated Thoughts And Thinking

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Abuse is not Equal